Just a short one.

Sale launches in stores tomorrow at Topshop. Why I'm telling more people than necessary I don't know. God help any employees (including myself) from the bargain hungry women of Liverpool tomorrow. I don't quite see the need for the sheer desperation some people shop with on the first few days of sale.

There are the machines who attach themselves to one end of the rail and don't come up for air until they get to the other end. Shopping is not a leisurely hobby for these people, it's a contact sport.

There are the dawdlers who amble down each isle blocking them for anyone who may want to pass (N.B. no obstacle is too large for the machines).

There are the limpets who attach themselves to a girlfriend/mum/etc. These tend to not care about the clothes and get in the way, however it's a price they're willing to pay so's not to get left alone, and potentially lost, in the sea of last season's leftovers and erratic shoppers.

There are the anally expulsive who appear to possess a magical repelling force as everything they touch falls to the floor. And stays there. The clothes are not treated with an ounce of the respect that they were three days previous when they were marked at full price.

And then there are those who find it all a bit overwhelming and decide it's worth paying full price in order to avoid.

When have they gone too far? Personally? Aggression. Aggression is too far. When they get home and have a moment to reflect and realise that their cannibalistic behaviour goes against all social norms they usually have no problem conforming to.

It is disappointing to see people buying shit just because it's cheap but by day two if it's an item of clothing which I don't have to pick up off the floor then I'm willing to let it go. Sacrificial if you ask me, taking one for the team.

Below is the most accident prone canine you will ever set eyes on. Evie. She is currently knocked out after her latest general anaesthetic.

Don't be fooled by this angelic appearance, she normally looks a little more like this..

I must be tired, I'm disappointed in myself for missing the opportunity for dry wit in the previous post regarding the lipstick on Rosie's Lips. There was a play on words in there somewhere and I missed it. Damn.