Home Sweet Home.

After arriving home and then working three days on the trot, I'm somewhat disheartened. What was so recently paradise is suddenly a distant memory. I hate how quickly life gets back to normal. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to be home; two weeks is ample. I couldn't wait to return to British puds, getting to wear something other than sandals and dare I say it, a drop of rain. But now I'm missing not knowing/caring what day of the week it is, the satanic combination of oil and sand and the incessant whirring of the air con at night. I couldn't sleep for the silence my first night back. I want to have my cake AND eat it. Please.

Not everything was perfect, we got off to a dodgy start - we were given a twin room (granted they were almost double beds). We then moved into a king-size sea view room - much better. I then proceeded to lock all of our valuables in the room safe without setting a new code. Another call to reception. To add insult to injury, I lost a valuable day in the sun due to playing nurse to sick Thomas. Who, once better, decided he was desperate for a haircut, despite having one just before leaving England. I rarely have to leave others company because of a severe case of the giggles but this called for it. 'Gel' he said. Thomas politely declined. 'Gel' he repeated. Thomas declined with a bit more gumption. 'GEL' he commanded. Thomas reluctantly stuck out his hand. In all fairness, considering I think he's used to braiding girls hair it wasn't all that bad.

As it was the only 2 weeks of the year I tan, I was in it for the long haul. If you think working 9-5 in an office is hard work, try 9-5 in Hawaiian Tropic at 40-45'c. And if you are going to put yourself through that, you are expecting the most beautifully mahogany body as a result. At first I settled for two little white half moons up top, and then I saw the Slovakians. Their entire clan willingly lay there topless AND in a thong (in a predominantly Muslim country). Off came my top, although with a little more demure - I hope.

Some of the less obvious advantages of being on holiday;
You actually opt for a stone cold shower by choice, as opposed to starting WW3 over who used the last of the hot water.
You don't mind a little exercise, 2 hours snorkelling flies by much quicker than 2 hours swimming lengths.
You get up at 9am every morning for a decent spec by the pool, yet you struggle to think of such an incentive that would work back home.
You have read your books by day 2, but in England you would only just be finishing the first chapter by now.

FYI. The 2 pounds I lost the week I left, I gained at breakfast on the first day. Anyone who knows me knows pastry is my vice. Pancakes, syrup and lots of delicious pastries - the ones containing creme patissiere would be my favourite - this was my breakfast for 14 days.

I'm over the 'this time yesterday' phase, currently in the 'this time last week' phase and have yet to reach the 'this time last month' phase. It's depressing. It'd be rude not to share a holiday snap, so here I am on our way to a diving spot. Weep.



I'll try to do a decent post soon, holiday rant over.

Ciao.

See you in 2 weeks. But with a tan that would make a Wotsit jealous.

Topshop Trouper.

Whilst I anticipate the delivery of my latest online binge, it would appear I'm not the only one.






Underwear set £24, Jersey vests 2 for £10, Stripey maxi skirt £15 in the sale - all Topshop.com



Topshop.com have also had a successful delivery as far as my wardrobe is concerned. Although I'm sure the news won't be as greatly received by my overdraft. I don't know what it is with this colour at the moment but anything rusty, terracotta, dusty pink are winners with me. Stones, beiges and khakis are also on my to buy list. I'm like a magpie only replace shiney with colours of autumn. This is an improvement, it used to be replace shiney with black or grey.

Shawl Collar Tux Blazer £60, Smudge Print Tapered Trousers £38, Kipper Boat Shoes £50, Knitted Short Cable Jumper £38, Camel Jamie Jeans £40, all Topshop.

Included in this delivery was the extension of their basic Strappy Jersey Maxi Dress collection and at £18 a pop I'd love one in each colour please.

I like an accessory or two as much as the next guy but when it comes to holidays I have a problem. Tan lines. I draw the line at white ear lobes from earings. This year I shall be experimenting with an addition - headbands. Whilst I am aware they come in all different shapes, sizes and price ranges, Topshop will have to suffice for now and my haircut limits the boundaries even more so. Here are my top 3 (and I shall limit myself to 3);

Whilst I accept this is arguably not the most practicle beach headwear it is; a) beautifully OTT b) half price in the sale c) offers versitility - it comes with/out diamontes and in pale grey, blue or pink.

Definately more practicle and definately cute.

For those who don't want a headband to be too girly - a leather mini studded one. Also half price in the sale so why not ey.

Large Diamonte Bow Headband £12, Heart Printed Headband £6, Mini Stud Leather Headband £8 - all Topshop.

Silverware And Swimwear.

For those who haven't heard of her, Pamela Love is a New York based jewellery designer. Her pieces are all reminiscent of a gothic, dungeons-and-dragons era. When eagle claws, raven skulls and swords were not a thing of fairytales. See for yourself..



Left to right; Sterling silver talon cuff £960, Sterling silver obsidian arrowehead ring £460, Sterling silver eagle claw earings £385, all available at net-a-porter.

I love her necklaces and above is one of my favourite pieces, the sterling silver arrowehead necklace (£230) and the sterling silver eagle claw necklace (£290).

xxx

xxx

Find out more at http://www.pamelalovenyc.com/ and see what's in her AW10 collection - it's a lot more ropey (but not in the bad sense of the word, literally) and hearty too.
xxx

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If you're anything like me and finding satisfactory digits on the scales is looking more like mission impossible as departure day inches closer, I'd start looking for a one piece. Or a very clever little number. As the swimsuit technology needed isn't quite up to par yet in creating the 'perfect' silhouette Mouille are here to answer our short-term prayers. Anyone with a lump here and a bump there who isn't looking forward to baring all on the beach, fear not. I mean, sods law Miranda Kerr will be on the lounger next to you with her 34-24-34, and it's guaranteed that she will prance around with very little covering her modesty but who says quantity is quality? I'm not saying it will fix everything. Just help. A little.

Go to ASOS to check out more of these bad boys or the bikini's if you're more daring or head to http://www.mouille.co.uk/ to find other stockists.

I wrote this listening to Liverpool based Ragz, if you like anything acoustic/folk like Eva Cassidy, you'll like her - www.myspace.com/ragzmusic

We're All Going On A.

Now, I'm not a big birthday person but had a lovely weekend with fabulous friends, food and fun (cliche). Now that my birthday is over (weep) it's time to look forward to my holiday (yay). What comes with holidays? SHOPPING!

Every girl has the annual essentials and here are mine, minus the staple bikini's & maxi's..

Lacey Shoelace £7 American Apparel, Freda Chain Sandals £40 Topshop, Tapered Chino Trousers £35 Topshop, Chiffon Twist Front Blouse £45 Topshop, Tencel Utility Hotpants £30 Topshop, Morse Leather Fringe Tassel Loafers £50 ASOS, Clear Round Glasses £15 Topshop, Urban Academy Canvas Bag £32 ASOS, Nail Varnish Kiss And Tell £5 Topshop, H By Hudson Lucilla Flat Strapped Sandal £95 ASOS.

My favourites are the H by Hudson Sandals (bottom left), camel coloured chino's by Topshop and their twist front blouse with satisfies the pastel trend as well as Burberry's love of twists and knots this season. The glasses are cute too. Oh sod it, I'll have it all please.

A Little Moan.

After working 49 hours over the past 9 days (63 hours if you include the time wasted commuting) I am sorry to say my blog has suffered first hand. This neglect is inexcusable and with 2 weeks off before jet-setting I'll be sure to do a few half decent posts (or so I think). I know, 'welcome to the real world' but when you're used to working 8 hours a week it comes as quite a shock. My poor body doesn't know what it has done wrong but it'll thank me when I next step on the scales.

When I say I have 2 weeks off, I mean no Topshop. I have a photoshoot next week (for which I'm to anticipate a red crop - hair obviously). Hopefully, it'll look smashing because I'll have it for my birthday at the weekend. Talking of birthdays, I treated myself to a little outfit..

I also snapped up a couple of bargains in the sale before it started on Thursday..

Over and out, until I have the brain power to string a half decent sentence.

Just a short one.

Sale launches in stores tomorrow at Topshop. Why I'm telling more people than necessary I don't know. God help any employees (including myself) from the bargain hungry women of Liverpool tomorrow. I don't quite see the need for the sheer desperation some people shop with on the first few days of sale.

There are the machines who attach themselves to one end of the rail and don't come up for air until they get to the other end. Shopping is not a leisurely hobby for these people, it's a contact sport.

There are the dawdlers who amble down each isle blocking them for anyone who may want to pass (N.B. no obstacle is too large for the machines).

There are the limpets who attach themselves to a girlfriend/mum/etc. These tend to not care about the clothes and get in the way, however it's a price they're willing to pay so's not to get left alone, and potentially lost, in the sea of last season's leftovers and erratic shoppers.

There are the anally expulsive who appear to possess a magical repelling force as everything they touch falls to the floor. And stays there. The clothes are not treated with an ounce of the respect that they were three days previous when they were marked at full price.

And then there are those who find it all a bit overwhelming and decide it's worth paying full price in order to avoid.

When have they gone too far? Personally? Aggression. Aggression is too far. When they get home and have a moment to reflect and realise that their cannibalistic behaviour goes against all social norms they usually have no problem conforming to.

It is disappointing to see people buying shit just because it's cheap but by day two if it's an item of clothing which I don't have to pick up off the floor then I'm willing to let it go. Sacrificial if you ask me, taking one for the team.

Below is the most accident prone canine you will ever set eyes on. Evie. She is currently knocked out after her latest general anaesthetic.

Don't be fooled by this angelic appearance, she normally looks a little more like this..

I must be tired, I'm disappointed in myself for missing the opportunity for dry wit in the previous post regarding the lipstick on Rosie's Lips. There was a play on words in there somewhere and I missed it. Damn.

The Make Up Shake Up.

The following are some of the goodies Topshop's new make up range has to offer. I currently have on the second one in (named The Big Easy) and it's day 5 with one solid coat and it has yet to chip. The collection pleases both the quality AND quantity lovers out there as at £5 a pop who can say no to a nail varnish that only needs 1 coat to sort you out for the week (at least). Admittedly, I have splurged on the varnishes in particular, but when you try a different tester every shift, loving each a little more than the previous, they just.. add up.

With regards to their lipsticks, the one in my pocket at the moment is in the middle at the bottom (shade Desert) which goes on a delicious matte peach colour. I LOVE 'Vamp' (guess which one that is) but no matter how many times I try it, it just looks.. wrong. I will keep trying it until I learn to love it on my lips as much as I do in its tube.

I'm not really an eye shadow kinda girl but everyone needs at least one, even if it's only for the basic smokey eyes. The navy and grey (Heavy Storm) is the best here, in my humble opinion.

The t-shirts below took months to find after seeing someone wearing one and at long last I can proudly tell you that they are by Hype Means Nothing and can be bought from http://www.buymeansnothing.com/ for £45. Each design (there are 26) comes in white, grey or black and for men and women. These 3 are my favourite; Beyonce, Obama, Will Smith.

Tip of the Day: Jelly shoes - great for Summer, shit for tan lines.

No Longer Secret Secrets.

I'm always surprised at how many people haven't heard of Postsecret. For those who this applies to, 'Postsecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a postcard'. It sounds far more emotionally detached than it actually is. Be them happy, sad, funny, rude, angry, shocking, aspirational or heart-warming, they're all there. The secrets on http://www.postsecret.com/ are updated every Sunday and I have been a religious follower for years now with several of their books too (which make fab coffee table books). Anyone who has been introduced to this by myself has been pleasantly surprised and maybe you will be too...

My Books;

A jewellery range (which until recently has not been available in the UK) has arrived at ASOS. My accessory prayers were answered when Dogeared jewellery was on the ASOS newsletter that arrived in my inbox. Their stuff is cute, dainty and ideal for presents. I bought the following TINY earings and bracelet for a total of £127 (I got 2 bracelets - 1 for me & 1 for my boyfriend) so as moreish as they are, I won't be expanding my collection in a hurry.

I spent most of yesterday at a photoshoot for Kirtsy Doyle's new collection which, whilst fun, was potentially financially disasterours. See http://www.kirsty-doyle.com/ for her amazing creations and I'll let you know when the new collection is up.

To Dye For.

I'm feeling two trends at the moment; tie dye (no we have not seen the best of it already) and rough luxe. Tie dye is fresh, summery, easily made unique and an oversized tie dye tee is perfect for those festival goers out there this summer.

Clockwise from top left: Tie Dye Tee £45 Topshop, Midnight Runners Tank Dress £169 Sass & Bide, Tie Dye Leggings £22 Topshop, Jordan Long Shoulderless Dress £100 (in the sale) Gypsy05, Pietro Alessandro Small Convertible Tie Dyed Bag £97, Printed Tie Dye Hareems £28 Topshop, Rose Tie Dye Jersey Hotpants £8 Topshop, Sperry Topsider Bahama Boat Shoe Tie Dye Canvas £40 Gravity Pope

For the more edgy, less hippie out there, I present rough luxe. A mixture of masculin leathers and studs with feminine lace and silk, all in mellow colours.

Clockwise from top left: Leather Sleevless Biker Jacket £95 Topshop, Spikey Stud Headband £30 Topshop, Uneven Hem Chiffon Skirt £50 Topshop, Ruched Side Leggings £22 Topshop, Leather Large Pyramid Stud Bag £45 Topshop, Christian Louboutin Studded High Tops £810 SS10 collection, Alexander McQueen Smoky Knuckle Duster Ring £370, Rose Lace Ankle Socks £5 Topshop, Stud Lace Slip Skirt £35 Topshop, Patsy Tassel Wedges £130 Topshop

The Alexander McQueen ring has to be my favourite here, I am partial to the odd ring, as my daily essential illustrates below...

Excuse the lack of writing today but the pictures took me three hours to hunt down and the sun is shining so I apologise but I'm off to enjoy the rarity that is this British sun!